I don’t have much to say about our final day-and-a-half in Paris. Kris and I were still sick, and we didn’t leave the hotel room much. We did venture out to a kitchen store, but mostly we slept. Kind of a bummer way to end our European vacation, don’t you think?

Still, we had fun. Overall, the trip was fanastic. We both agree that we liked our week in Belize better, but we’re glad to have visited Italy and France.

Our trip home was uneventful, though the striked in Paris did mean that it took forever to reach the airport. I haven’t found a place to share the footage I took of the Paris Metro, so I’ll do that here.

I love the subway systems in Londong, Paris, New York, and Rome, and wish we had something similar in Portland. On the other hand, these cities are much bigger than Portland, so it doesn’t really make sense here.

We learned a lot from this trip, both about what we like in a vacation, and what we don’t like. (Hint: We don’t like cruises on boats full of old people.) We’ll apply that to future vacations, perhaps starting with our trip to South Africa next spring!

Though Kris and I still felt sick, it seemed foolish to spend our time in the hotel room. This was an expensive trip, and we felt obligated to get our money’s worth. Because we were feverish, we made a slow start to the day.

We left the hotel at 1100 for a second trip to the Louvre. Tickets were €9.50 each and easy to get, despite the crowds. In retrospect, we were foolish to pay €59 each for the Louvre excursion from the river cruise.

We spent four hours in the museum. Although we didn’t see everything, we saw plenty, including sculptures, Dutch masters, the apartments of Napoleon III, and more. It was well worth having returned.

The apartments of Napoleon III in the Louvre

Cupid and Psyche, which Kris and I both think is fantastic

We took the Metro back to the hotel, stopping for groceries at a supermarket. For dinner, we ate olives, sausage, bread, cheese — and grapefruit juice.

We dosed ourselves with medicine and watched episodes of Glee on the iPad.

Kris and I both woke feeling sick, but since we had to be out of our cabin by 0800, there wasn’t much we could do. We hunkered down in the lounge of the River Baroness with other late-departing guests. I wrote; Kris slept on the floor. At noon, we took the subway to our hotel, where we dropped off our luggage.

While waiting for the 1400 check-in time, we walked about 2km to a seven-days-a-week pharmacy. Using our rudimentary French skills and a pocket phrasebook, we hunted for flu remedies. Fortunately, a nice young man behind the counter noticed us flailing about; he came out to help us.

On our way back to Hotel Muguet, we took a detour through a vast outdoor market beneath the elevated train tracks along Boulevard de Grenelle (near the Metro stop). It was very cold, so we stopped to eat at Tribeca, though I wasn’t very hungry.

After checking into the hotel, we took our medicine, climbed into bed, and watched videos on the iPad. We fell asleep early.

During the night, the River Baroness docked in Paris, near Parc André Citroën.

Despite feeling sick, I rose early to join Mark and the ship’s fitness expert (and masseuse) for Nordic walking to the Eiffel Tower. The morning was cool and misty, but the walk felt good. Beneath the tower, we paused for calisthenics. Soldiers with machine guns watched us stretch.

Later, Kris and I enjoyed a three-hour bus tour of Paris with a local guide. This was much better than the disastrous hop-on/hop-off tour we’d taken the week before, in part because there was no traffic. Plus, the guide actually knew the city, and his passion showed. We stopped at several locations, including the backside of the Champs de Mars, where we had a photo op with the Eiffel Tower. For my Crossfit friends back home, I did double-unders:

After the city tour, we joined a group for a whirlwind pass through the Musée du Louvre, one of the largest art museums in the world. We saw almost nothing. We blitzed through to a handful of major works, including:

• Venus de Milo
• Mona Lisa
• Winged Victory

The tour was fine, but at €59 each, it felt expensive. It just whetted our appetite for more.

The pyramids outside the entrance to the Louvre

A gallery inside the Louvre

The Venus de Milo

It’s tough to photograph the Mona Lisa behind its protective glass, but the crowd is just as fun

After the Louvre, I walked about 6km back to the ship. Again, this solo stroll through a big city was one of the highlights of my vacation. (Just as my walk through Rome and my run through Venice.) I returned just in time for dinner with the gang of young folks from the night before. I still felt sick, so Mark gave me some Claritin. Bless his soul.

At dinner, Kris began to feel sick too.

Today, we took a vacation from our vacation.

I felt sick and tired, so we slept late, skipping the excursion to Monet’s garden at Giverny. After sleeping late, we slept some more.

In the afternoon, Kris stayed in bed, sleeping and reading. I sat in the lounge and watched the French countryside slip past. I chatted with the other passengers.

In the evening, we ate with Mark and Terri (from Vancouver, B.C.), Bruce and Michelle (from Australia), and Roger and Barbara (who, while 65, seemed only 45). We were the young folks on the trip. It was a fun meal.

On Thursday morning, Kris and I joined a bus tour to the coastal resort town of Étretat. The long drive through French farmland was beautiful. Plus, the day was cold, windy, and wet. I loved it.

There wasn’t much to see in Étretat. It’s the sort of place where you’d spend a relaxing week or two — but not an hour. Still, we browsed a small market, where I let a saleswoman talk me into spending €65 for a new Stetson waxed cotton cap that’s a size too small. It was worth it: I love the cap. (In fact, I just realized I don’t know where the cap is at the moment, and it’s putting me into a bit of a panic.)

The bus then wound through the French countryside to Le Havre, a major seaport. Our path through the city was disrupted by the strikes/protests about retirement reform, the same strikes/protests that plagued our entire stay. Eventually, however, we made it to our destination: Manoir D’Apreval, an apple farm outside Hornfleur.

We toured the apple cider operation at Manoir D’Apreval, and then enjoyed a light lunch, which included Calvados, an apple brandy, as well as a variety of local cheeses.

Manoir D’Apreval, where we toured the cider farm

Barrels of Calvados, an apple brandy

After lunch, we spent an hour walking through Hornfleur, exploring the shops.

By the end of the day, however, I was exhausted. I felt sick. My throat was sore. I thought about skipping dinner, but persevered. After eating, though, I went straight to bed. I slept and slept and slept.

After just a couple of days, the boat was driving me crazy. I’d felt cooped up in Italy, but that sense of confinement was nothing compared to the river cruise. At least in Italy, we were walking most places, and if I needed to escape to be on my own, I could. That wasn’t true on the River Baroness. I was trapped on a ship full of old people.

So, on our second morning in Rouen, I rose early to join a small group for Nordic walking:

Our small group walked for about 2km, stopped to do calisthenics, and then walked 2km back to the boat. As we walked, we chatted. I got to know Mark, from Vancouver, B.C., and Roger, who is 65 but looks 45. By the end of the cruise, Roger had become a sort of role model for what I want my fitness level to be like in 25 years!

After breakfast, we took a walking tour of Rouen, a city the size of Salem, Oregon. The tour was short and slow to cater to the old folks. We saw the medieval downtown area, the shopping district, and the place where Joan of Arc is supposed to have been burned at the stake.

Kris loved this McDonald’s, which is housed in a centuries-old building

Later, Kris and I did some shopping on our own. Kris bought a (men’s) scarf, and I hunted — unsuccessfully — for Peanuts in French. Apparently Charlie Brown and Snoopy are a hit in Rome, but not in Paris. We spent a lot of time in a French supermarket, marveling at all the stuff that’s different from home. (We do this in every country we visit, by the way.) I was particularly impressed that you could buy fine Scotch whisky from a grocery store.

We spent the rest of the afternoon resting on the boat. In the evening, we watched The Da Vinci Code, so now I can finally say I know the story.

During the night, the River Baroness moved north to Rouen, a Salem-sized city in France’s Normandy region. In the morning, all of the passengers boarded buses for the two-hour ride to the D-Day Beaches.

On the morning of 06 June 1944, the combined Allied forces (including not just the United States and England, but also Canada and France — and in the weeks following the initial landing, troops from Belgium, Czechoslovakia, Greece, and the Netherlands) assaulted German positions on five Normandy beaches spread over 50 miles of coastline. For many young Americans, the most notable depiction of this landing comes from Steven Spielberg’s Saving Private Ryan.

The Allied forces suffered about 10,000 casualties (including 2,500 American deaths) during the assault, and the German defenders experienced between 4,000 and 9,000 casualties. Over the next few months, these numbers grew significantly. Now the beaches (and a few surrounding areas) are designated as war memorials.

Kris, storming the beach at Normandy

Our group spent the day visiting Omaha Beach and the American Cemetery, with a side trip to view the Bayeux Tapestry.

I loved the Bayeux Tapestry

The Bayeux Tapestry isn’t actually a tapestry, it’s an embroidered cloth — though the difference is lost on me. Though its origins are unknown, many believe it was created during the 1070s, just ten years after the events it depicts. The 225-foot (68 meter) tapestry (or embroidery) illustrates the events leading up to the Norman conquest of England, including the Battle of Hastings. The individual scenes tell the story, which is spelled out in Latin along the border. Some geeks — and I’m one of them — consider the Bayeux Tapestry to be the first comic book. Because of this (and because Professor Nolley referred to the tapestry during our History of the English Language course at Willamette University), this has been on my “must-see” list for over twenty years. It did not disappoint. Even Kris, who had never heard of it before our trip, thought it was amazing.

After visiting Omaha Beach and viewing the Bayeux Tapestry, we had about 75 minutes for lunch in the quaint village of Bayeux. No problem, right? Kris and I decided to have a proper sit-down meal. Big mistake. In France, restaurants don’t hurry their customers. In fact, much of what we take as customary in the U.S. is considered rude. As in Italy, you must ask for the bill; the server doesn’t just bring it to you. And meals all have a leisurely pace. Such was the case in the restaurant we chose. It didn’t help that the place was busy. Our simple lunch stretched on and on until we thought we might miss our bus! Fortunately, the waiter sped up the process when Kris explained the situation to him in broken French.

After lunch, we visited the American Cemetery. The place was poignant, as expected, with a sea of white marble crosses. But we felt rushed. Plus, we wished we’d started in the interpretative center (which our local guide had warned us away from), which added depth and color to the experience. Security at the cemetery was very tight — tighter than even at the Louvre or Vatican.

The American Cemetery is filled with a sea of white crosses

On the way back to the boat, the bus got stuck in traffic. Yet another French traffic accident. I know people complain that Italian drivers are wild, but we found French traffic to be much worse.

Back on the boat, we ate dinner with Sharon and Parl. Parl is a big, friendly man, a retired machinist who now owns his own limousine. “I never retired,” he told us. “I just work for less money!”

Overnight, the River Baroness docked in the commune of Les Andelys, about 100km from Paris. In the morning, the passengers came ashore for a short hike to the ruins of Château Gaillard, a medieval castle (built by Richard the Lionheart) that overlooks the River Seine.

Les Andelys, with our ship on the river

I was mostly unimpressed, although I think Kris found the view stunning. For one thing, I thought our tour guide was from the same dull, humorless school as Luca, our guide in Florence. She was like an encyclopedia, but I wanted something more personal.

Mostly, though, I marveled at the alarming physical condition of our companions. True, we had to climb 300 feet to reach the castle, but our pace for that half-mile walk was very, very slow. It was like taking an easy stroll up a bluff to get a better view of the countryside, but many folks struggled. On the return to town, I heard people complain about how tough the walk was and how after this much exercise, they could eat anything they wanted for the rest of the day.

This was alarming. It was a wake-up call. Though I’ve lost a lot of weight this year and am in good physical condition now, I can’t capitulate. I can’t return to what I was before. I need to stay healthy and active so that in twenty years, I’m not complaining about simple hikes.

Back in Les Andelys, Kris and I stopped at a convenience store — or the French equivalent, anyhow — for coffee and cigarettes. While she ordered an espresso, I bought tobacco. (Note for those who don’t know me in Real Life: I don’t smoke regularly. In fact, I smoke hardly at all. But I do like to have fun cigars and cigarettes around for the 5-6 times a year I do smoke.)

And here we had a little cultural communication breakdown. Because we were speaking English and the shop owners were speaking French, and because Kris was doing one thing and I was doing another, she thought I’d paid for her coffee when I bought my cigarettes. I hadn’t. So, as we were walking away from the store, the owner had to run outside and holler at us to come back and pay. (I’m sure that he and his other patrons were thinking, “Stupid Americans!”) It was embarrassing — but not much. Mostly, it’s a funny story to tell our friends.

Back on board, we ate lunch as the River Baroness set sail. In the afternoon, we sat on the deck, soaking in the sun and watching the beautiful French countryside float by. I smoked one of my new cigarettes. (The rest will probably last me a couple of years!)

A typical French home along the Siene.

In the evening, we ate dinner with Richard and Deana Sansing. Richard is an accounting professor at Dartmouth. He seemed unimpressed with both Custom Box Service and Get Rich Slowly! I, in turn, thought a some of his ideas were academic and theoretical and not really applicable to the Real World.

After dinner, we attended a fine violin concert: