in Daily Life |

Fat Lumberjack Slob: A Scene of Domestic Bliss

Kris comes home from work. I leave my computer to go visit.

Kris: Tell me you didn’t wear that shirt today.

J.D.: I wore this shirt today.

Kris: …

J.D.: What’s wrong with this shirt?

Kris: You look like a fat lumberjack.

J.D.: …

Kris: Untuck it. [I untuck it.] That’s no good. Now you look like a fat lumberjack slob. Did you run the dishwasher?

J.D.: Oops. [I go run the dishwasher.]

Kris: Don’t tell me you forgot.

J.D.: I forgot.

Kris: …

J.D.: Why are we running the dishwasher again, anyhow? We just ran it last night.

Kris: Yes, but you made a salad.

J.D.: …

Kris: Did you get cat food?

J.D.: Oops.

Kris: …

J.D.: But I fed the cats!

Ah, married life is pretty hilarious sometimes. For the husband, anyhow. Of course, everything can be made right by a trip to Gino’s for clams. Yum!

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  1. Hey, working at home isn’t supposed to have a dress code!

  3. Com on, everyone sing.

    I’m a lumberjack and I’m OK

    I sleep all night and

    I work all day

    (He’s a lumberjack and he’s OK

    He sleeps all night and he works all day)

    I cut down trees, I eat my lunch

    I go to the lavat’ry

    On Wednesdays I go shopping

    And have buttered scones for tea

    (He cuts down trees…)

    (He’s a lumberjack…)

    I cut down trees, I skip and jump

    I love to press wild flow’rs

    I put on women’s clothing

    And hang around in bars

    (He cuts down trees…)

    (He’s a lumberjack…)

    I cut down trees, I

    wear high heels

    Suspenders and a bra

    I wish I’d been a girlie

    Just like my dear papa

    (He cuts down trees…)

    (He’s a lumberjack…)

  4. This is classic. Best summation of marriage I have ever read. HA!

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