Administration

There are 62 posts filed in Administration (this is page 2 of 7).

Meet the New Blog (Same as the Old Blog)

On the surface, things have been quiet around here lately. Underneath, however, there’s been a flurry of activity.

A few weeks ago, I was asked to rename this blog from “More Than Money”. But what to name it? You folks offered lots of suggestions — along with encouragement to write more often (and about whatever the hell I want).

In the end, I realized the best name was the first name. I’m going to call this site Foldedspace, which was the name I picked for the blog back when I started it in 2001. (My previous web journals from 1997, 1998, and 1999 either had no name or were called “Great Expectations”.)

Foldedspace is back!

Meanwhile, I’ve updated my blogging software to the current version of WordPress (4.0) and have upgraded all of my WordPress plugins. I also installed the latest version of the “theme” this blog is built on.

But that’s not all!

I took the time to import most of my old articles from previous versions of Foldedspace, and I’ve built an archives page that allows easy access to this content. (Note that there’s a bunch of stuff from before 2005 that remains trapped in a dead database. I’ll get it over here eventually.)

Plus I updated the about page and created a page dedicated to my best articles from this site and others (including Get Rich Slowly).

But wait! There’s more!

I spent several hours re-vamping the sidebar here at Foldedspace. For the six of you who actually visit this site on a regular basis, you’ll now find my Twitter and Instagram feeds, my most recent bookmarks at Delicious, and an up-to-date blogroll linking to the latest posts from some of my friends and colleagues.

If you look at the image box in the upper-right corner, you’ll see that I’ve doubled the number of photos that are cycled randomly. (I get a lot of questions about these photos, by the way. Just to be clear: They’re all images by me or of me. They tend to be photos of my travels or of my daily life. Each image is meaningful to me in some way.)

There’s been another, more important change behind the scenes. Just as several other old-school bloggers have re-dedicated themselves to “middle-form” content over the past month (Matt, Andy, Gina), I’ve made that leap as well.

No more fretting over what’s okay to post here. It’s my site; I’ll share what I want to share. I hope you like it, but if you don’t, that’s okay. If I post too many cat videos and you need to unsubscribe, I’ll understand.

There’s still quite a bit of housekeeping to be done. I want to get those “lost” articles imported, for instance. Also, during the process of importing past posts, I created several duplicate categories. As a result, categories are useless right now (so I’ve removed them from the site). I want to fix that. And more. I want to do lots more.

Right now, though, it’s time to head to the gym.

Welcome back to Foldedspace…

What Should I Call This Blog?

Over four years ago, I sold Get Rich Slowly, the little personal-finance blog that I somehow built into a behemoth. After the sale, I thought I’d leave the site quickly — but I stuck around for three years.

Eventually, I moved on. I tried to return to Folded Space, the personal blog that I started in 1997, but it didn’t feel right. Instead, I moved all my writing here to jdroth.com.

“I don’t know what to call my new site,” I told my friend Adam Baker (from Man vs. Debt) at Fincon a couple of years ago.

“You can’t you just call it J.D. Roth?” he asked.

“I could,” I said. “But I want some sort of title that conveys what I’m writing about. I’m moving beyond just personal finance. I want to write about more than money.”

“Well,” he said. “Why not call it that? Why not call your blog More Than Money?”

And so this site was christened.

Time passed. I wrote about fear and happiness and freedom. Much of the time, I didn’t write. Other times, like now, I felt like I was bursting at the seams with things to say. But through it all, this site was More Than Money.

Yesterday, I received an email. A fellow named Gene Dickison wrote to tell me that he owns the trademark to ‘More Than Money’. “I respectfully request you discontinue the use of [the name],” he said.

At first, I thought it was a joke. But a quick check at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office revealed that there are several trademark registrations for “More Than Money”, including one for Dickison and his company. I spent some time reading through the trademark rules and regulations, and based on that cursory scan I felt as if my use of the name were not infringing on anyone’s rights — but at the same time, I don’t want to waste any time, money, or energy to challenge this.

I’ve exchanged email with Dickison — who, aside from making this claim, has been civil and pleasant — and told him that although I don’t agree that I’m infringing, I’ll change the name of this blog.

But to what?

Several folks on social media have recommended that I not name the blog anything. For instance, Rob from Dough Roller wrote:

Rob's recommendation on Facebook

Many people agreed that I should just call the site “J.D. Roth” and be done with it. Maybe so.

I have a couple of weeks to think about this and make a decision. What do you think I should call this blog? And while we’re at it, are there specific topics you come here to read about? I’m always amazed that this site has so many readers, especially given the random topics that I tend to cover. But then maybe that’s why you all stick around: because you know that I’ll write about early retirement, fitness, travel, and cuddly furry animals — all in one place. Thoughts?

On a completely unrelated note, I finally convinced iMovie to upload the 8-minute video I made featuring footage of last month’s our motorcycle trip along the Oregon coast:

This was my first experiment with a GoPro. And although I find much of the scenery pretty to look at, the video will probably only be of interest to hard-core motorcycle fans. You have been warned!

Blog Consolidation, Step One: Far Away Places

I just returned from Fincon, the annual conference for financial bloggers and other folks who write about money. After a week in New Orleans with my colleagues, I’m inspired to become a better blogger. For me, that’s going to be easy. It just means I have to post more regularly around here!

As part of that, I’ve begun to do something I threatened to do several months ago. I’m consolidating my writing into one place. Instead of having dozens of blogs scattered across the internet, I’m compressing many of them into this single site. That means moving old articles from those places to here.

My hope is that this doesn’t create a deluge in your inbox and RSS feeds. As I move these articles over, I’m giving them their original dates. I hope that means they don’t get published as new, but I could be wrong. I’m also moving many at once so that if they do get pushed out in email, they all get pushed in one giant email on the same day. I apologize for any inconvenience.

The first articles I’m moving over here are from Far Away Places, my defunct travel blog. That blog has been broken for years, and people can’t even view the past posts. Plus, Kim and I want to use that domain for an upcoming project. (I’ve told many of you about this project in person, but I’m not ready to publicize it on the web. Soon though!)

In case you’re curious, here’s a list of the 22 articles I moved over yesterday:

I’m not sure which articles I’ll move next. There’s no rush, of course. And if all of this flooded your inboxes, I might actually put the project on hold. I’m hopeful, though, that this is a way to consolidate all of my online writing in one place!

Please let me know if this process was a problem from your end…

Three-Blog Meetup: J.D. Roth, Mr. Money Mustache, and Tyler Tervooren this Thursday

Just a quick note to say that if you live in Portland, you ought to make your way to Sellwood Park this Thursday evening. You’ll be glad you did!

Pete (better-known as Mr. Money Mustache) will be in town, and while he’s here, Tyler (from Riskology) and I have banded with him to host a three-blog meetup.

Here are complete details about the gathering.

And here’s a summary:

  • Join us from 5 p.m. until 8 p.m. on Thursday, 29 May 2014.
  • We’ll meet at picnic sites B, C, and D in Sellwood Park.
  • We’ve rented the picnic spots and paid for the alcohol permit, but you’ll have to bring your own food and drinks.

If you need to pick up food, the park is just a few blocks from the local New Seasons, The Portland Bottle Shop, Jade Teahouse, and other Sellwood restaurants. There’s a small cart pod nearby too, although many have short hours.

This is a great way to spend a casual evening with a group of like-minded folks. There may be a dozen of us or there may be 200. Who can say? No matter how many show up, we’ll have fun. Won’t you join us?

Talking About Wealth, Happiness, and Freedom: Join Me This August for a Week in Ecuador!

Last September, I spent a week in Ecuador with two dozen other like-minded folks. We gathered to talk about personal and financial independence. We had a grand time talking “rich people talk”, sharing our stories, and giving advice to other attendees who were just starting down the road to wealth.

The retreat succeeded beyond our wildest dreams. Attendees raved about it. And to my surprise, most of us have continued to keep in touch by Facebook, blogs, and email. (In fact, I’ll have coffee, lunch, or dinner with at least four folks from Ecuador over the next month!)

But the retreat wasn’t just transformational for the attendees. It was also transformational for the four of us who presented: organizer Cheryl Reed, sagacious Jim Collins, the dashing Mr. Money Mustache, and me. In fact, there’s no chance that the Get Rich Slowly course would exist in its current form had I not listened to the lessons from the other presenters. (What’s more, the entire year-long series here at More Than Money is a direct extension of my own presentation in Ecuador.)

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Pete shares his Mustachian vision for happiness and lifestyle design [photo by J.D.]

No surprise then that we’ve decided to do it again. Twice. Here’s the formal announcement. And here are some details:

  • The first 2014 chautauqua will take place between August 9 and August 16. At Hacienda Cusin, attendees will gather to discuss financial freedom, happiness, and entrepreneurship with Cheryl Reed, Jim Collins, Mr. Money Mustache, and Jesse Mecham (of You Need a Budget). Register here.

  • The second 2014 chautauqua will take place between August 23 and August 30. At El Encanto Resort, which rests squarely on the equator, attendees will talk about happiness and freedom with Cheryl Reed, David Cain (from Raptitude.com), and J.D. Roth (that’s me!). Register here.

While I’m sad that I won’t get to spend time with my personal-finance buddies, I know I’ll see them many times in the future. (Heck, Pete will be sleeping on my couch in just a few weeks!) Meanwhile, I’m excited to meet David Cain, whose work I admire. (If you haven’t started reading Raptitude yet, you should.)

Tickets for this year’s retreats are now on sale: week one – week two. Each week-long chautauqua costs $1900, and includes meals, lodging, in-country transportation, and scheduled retreat activities. Each chautauqua is limited to 15 participants.

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Jim and Val prioritize their passions during Cheryl’s presentation [photo by Rich]

Obviously, this event isn’t for everyone. At $1900 (plus airfare), these gatherings are for folks who have moved beyond the first stage of financial development. But for those who can afford it, a chautauqua like this is a great way to share ideas with like-minded folks and to gain inspiration. Last year, I got a ton out of talking to so many people who were on the path to financial independence.

Are you interested? You should join me in Ecuador this August!

Note: None of us kept the “profits” from the 2013 event. We used the revenue to pay for expenses — including speaker travel to and from South America — but everything extra was used to fund charitable work for poor people in rural Ecuador. I plan to do the same thing again this year. I don’t need (or want) to be paid for this project, and so I’m happy to forgo my speaker fee.

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Shyam and Jesse watch as Carol is serenaded for her birthday [photo by J.D.]

A Trip Through the Wayback Machine

I’ve been blogging since before “blog” was even a word.

I posted my first web site over twenty years ago, in the spring of 1994. Back then, all that was available was rudimentary HTML (no cascading style sheets!) and browsers like Mosaic and Lynx. We nerds were early adopters, of course, and we made stuff up as we went along.

The earliest versions of my site no longer exist, not even in the Wayback Machine. The oldest iteration available is this version from 24 January 2000. As you can see, at first my personal website contained random stuff about fantasy football, comic books, our book group, and the books and movies I consumed.

You can see in some of these pages — especially my reading list — early stabs at blog-like structure. (If you follow the links to various books, you’ll see my reviews plus links to other resources around the web.)

But my first actual web journal (I used to hate the term “blog”) was my fitness diary from 1997. Midway through losing forty pounds, I decided to chronicle the experience on the web for my friends and family to follow. I followed that up again in 1998 after I gained back ten of those pounds.

Then, on 22 September 1998, I started my first real-life weblog, which I called Great Expectations. In my first post, I wrote:

When I was young I was a writer. I don’t mean that I aspired to be a writer “when I grew up”, I mean that I wrote. I wrote poetry, I wrote stories, I wrote letters. I wrote for myself and I wrote for others. Writing was what I did.

Sometime during college I discovered I was no longer a writer. Sure, I wrote for classes, but that’s not the same thing. Although I wrote some poetry and fiction throughout college, by the end of my Senior year my writing activities had ceased.

For seven years I haven’t written, but now the bug is back.

[…]

Over the course of the past few years I’ve discovered the curious phenomena known as “web journals”. Having read thoroughly those belonging to Karawynn Long and Michael Rawdon, I’m intrigued by the medium and believe it would be a fantastic tool to practice my own writing.

And so it began.

Note: Life is funny. Since writing that more than fifteen years ago, I’ve met both Karawynn and Michael. I like them both. They’re both still writing for the web, and I still read their blogs all the time. Michael writes at Fascination Place and Karawynn writes at both a personal site and a personal finance site!

That first blog lasted only a month. Then life happened. Part of the problem was there wasn’t an automated way to publish the things I wrote. I had to do it by hand. It wasn’t difficult, but it was time consuming.

But a year or two later, I discovered Blogger, a new tool that helped to automate the process of producing web journals — or “blogs”, as they’d come to be known. I resumed writing for the web at my new personal domain, foldedspace.org. Apparently my first post with Blogger was on 27 May 2001, but it doesn’t exist in the Wayback Machine. The earliest post I can find is this one from 05 June 2001 in which I discuss some early work for Computer Resources Northwest (the computer consulting firm that would eventually own Get Rich Slowly!).

Since those early days, I’ve written a lot of material for the web. I’ve started dozens of websites, most of which have fizzled out after only a few days. But on some sites, I’ve produced thousands of words. Or hundreds of thousands. And at Get Rich Slowly, I’ve written over a million words.

It occurred to me last night that I miss some of the things I wrote. Every now and then I’ll stumble upon an old article of mine while googling for something else. These old articles make me misty in a way, and I wish they were gathered together in one place. So, that’s what I’m going to do. Slowly but surely, I’m going to re-read all of the old stuff I wrote. Some of it will remain in dusty corners of the internet. But when I find an important or interesting piece, I’m going to copy it over here to jdroth.com and re-publish it on its old date.

I worry that doing this will cause you all to receive email and RSS updates of this old material. I’m not meaning to bombard everyone with a bunch of outdated articles. I just want to collect some of my favorite memories in one place. If it gets to be too much, please let me know and I’ll find a way to prevent you all from receiving these updates. Sound good? Meanwhile, I’ll be sure to share if I find anything especially fun.

Now, though, it’s time for me to go do some publicity for Get Rich Slowly: The Guide. A blogger’s work is never done…

Note: Ooohh… I just found this version of foldedspace.org. This is what I consider “classic foldedspace” — it’s from the Golden Age of my pre-GRS blogging days. I would love to replicate that look here…

What I’m Up To: My Work for 2014

Sometimes it seems like I’ll never learn.

After vowing at the end of 2013 that I wouldn’t overburden myself this year, that I’d take 2014 off as a year to relax and to work on my own projects, I’m just as over-committed as ever. On one hand, I don’t mind. It feels good to be busy and to be doing productive work. But on the other hand, it would be nice to be pursuing personal projects.

So far this year, my main work has been the guide/course that I’m writing for Chris Guillebeau’s series of “Unconventional Guides“. Mine, naturally enough, is an unconventional guide to money. I’ve written it based on a single conceit: You ought to manage your money as if you were the chief financial officer of your own life.

This guide took much longer to produce than I’d anticipated. It was tough for me to find the “hook”. Even after I’d discovered how to approach the material, it was difficult to get every chapter to fit the mold. In the end, though, I’m happy with how things turned out. This is some of the best material I’ve ever written. It feels like there are chunks missing from the guide (how to work with a team, for instance), but those can be included as part of a follow-up email series.

That brings up the work I’ll be doing for the next two months. Now that the guide itself is finished, it’s time to create additional content. I’ve already conducted sixteen interviews with other folks in the financial world (including Jean Chatzky, Ramit Sethi, and Liz Weston), and those audio files will be available. But I also need to develop a supporting website with additional content, such as downloadable forms and files, plus links to resources around the web.

Beyond that, I’ve agreed to resume writing the “Your Money” column for Entrepreneur magazine. My first piece is due tomorrow. Plus, I’m in talks to write for another popular personal-finance outlet. Combine this work with my twice-monthly articles at Get Rich Slowly and the writing I want to do here, and that’s plenty of responsibility.

On top of this, I’m doing more speaking this year.

  • In a couple of weeks, at Pioneer Nation, I’ll be speaking about “time management for solopreneurs”.

  • In June, at Digital CoLab, I’ll talk about the power of networking (and how to network the right way).

  • In August, I’ll return to Ecuador to participate in a second retreat. Last year was so successful that we’re going to do two retreats this year. During week two, David Cain (from Raptitude) and I will present on “Happiness and Freedom”. Look for more info soon!

I’ve also entertained three additional speaking requests, although I’m likely to accept only one of these.

So, that’s what I’m doing for my “day job”. Meanwhile, I’m continuing to work on some time-consuming personal goals. After gaining fifteen pounds with my aborted “scrawny to brawny” fitness program, I want to lose the weight to get back to where I was last autumn. That takes time. (I’d like to spend two hours per day exercising, although I’m lucky to find sixty minutes per day at the moment.) I’m also taking guitar lessons, spending time with Kim, and trying to make time to read.

The bottom line: Life is busy but good. I had hoped things would be less busy in 2014, but apparently my priorities lie elsewhere. I guess I’ll just sit back and enjoy the ride!

Update! This morning, my friend Jim published a podcast interview with me in which I discuss past projects (including Get Rich Slowly) and present ones. This was a fun conversation. I haven’t had a chance to listen to it since the interview was conducted, but I remember enjoying the discussion.

The 2014 Roadmap for More Than Money

As we begin our year-long exploration of personal and financial independence, I want to explain how I’ll approach the project.

Every Monday, I’ll post a chapter from my unfinished ebook. I’ll publish these chapters in order so that, if read consecutively, they form a coherent whole, an overall narrative. Yesterday’s article about the regrets of the dying, for example, was originally the book’s prologue. Next Monday’s article about fighting fear was the first chapter of the first section. Each of these chapters is short — between 250 and 1000 words — and meant to be easily digested.

On other days of the week, I’ll share related information I uncover as I go about my business. I might share a news story, for instance, or an interesting video. I might review a book or discuss a scene from a movie. Most often, I’ll link to articles at other websites. These non-Monday pieces will each be on topics related to our discussion, but they’ll come out of order.

In other words, while we spend the first few months of Mondays talking about how to face and overcome fear, on other days I’ll be publishing pieces about happiness, freedom, and financial independence. My article tomorrow is about common irrational beliefs, for example. Later this week, I may share some of Ramit‘s thoughts about mastery.

So, our year will have a clear, defined progression. But we’ll also spend time jumping from topic to topic. I think this will keep everyone from getting bored.

How can you help? I’m glad you asked!

  • If you have a story or insight, post it to the comments. Your contributions will add color and complexity to the conversation.

  • If you’d like to contribute a guest post, please do so. As long as it’s well-written and relevant, I’ll publish it.

  • When you read something you like, share it. The more people we can get involved in the discussion, the richer we’ll all be.

  • If, as you go about your daily routine, you read or hear of something that’s appropriate to these themes, drop me a line. I don’t publish my email addresses anywhere, but they’re relatively easy to figure out. (Hint: I also have a gmail account.) If all else fails, leave a comment to tell me what you’ve found.

Lastly, this plan means that More Than Money will feature at least one post per week during 2014. If things go well, it’ll usually contain more. (I’m aiming for three per week, but we’ll see.)

That’s it for now! I’ll see you tomorrow to examine eleven common irrational beliefs.

More Than Money: A Blog About Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness

As promised on Friday, More Than Money is about to become a real blog with useful information and instructive stories. After fifteen months as a sandbox, I have a plan for 2014.

I’ve spent much of the past three months writing an ebook about personal finance. As part of that, I generated nearly 50,000 words on the relationship between personal and financial freedom. This material covers overcoming fear, pursuing happiness, and forging freedom. I think it’s some of the best work I’ve ever produced. Unfortunately, it’s not appropriate for my ebook.

That’s okay, though, because now those 50,000 words are going to form the backbone of a year-long journey at More Than Money. Every Monday morning (starting tomorrow), I’ll share one short “chapter” from this unpublished ebook.

Over the next twelve months, I’ll intersperse this material with interviews and stories, as well as summaries of related articles from around the web. Plus, of course, I’ll continue to share my travel adventures.

At the end of 2014, my goal is to collate all of this information into a downloadable ebook I’ve tentatively titled More Than Money: A Guide to Wealth and Happiness. (So, yes, I’ll be converting an unpublished ebook into blog posts and then converting these back into an ebook. Crazy, huh?)

You can help. As the year goes along, please provide feedback on the material I publish. And if you have anything to contribute to the conversation, please do so. Share your stories. Share related articles. Share books that you’ve read. I want to foster a year-long conversation about what it means to be happy and free. I’m glad to have you along for the ride!

My Goals for 2013

On Monday, I shared my year in review for 2012. The past twelve months were a time of transition, and I’m happy with how my life has changed in the past year. Now, however, it’s time to look forward to 2013, to prepare plans so that life can be even better.

In recent years, I’ve consciously shied away from New Year’s resolutions. I’ve used a “one goal at a time” technique to achieve major changes. By focusing on just one thing at a time, I don’t get distracted, and I’ve been better able to achieve success.

I didn’t set any major goals for 2012, though. This was largely because I knew my life was going to be in a state of flux: I was in the process of getting a divorce, was moving temporarily to an apartment, and was preparing to leave Get Rich Slowly, where I’d been writing for six years. If I had a goal, it was to get through all of these transitions in a smooth and orderly manner. Which I did.

This year, though, I want to be more directed. And I’m willing to take on more than just one goal in 2013. As my discipline has improved, I’ve found that I have more brainwidth to devote to self improvement. I believe I can pursue more than one goal at a time, so long as the goals aren’t in the same parts of my life. (In other words, I can probably pursue just one fitness goal at a time, but I can pursue a fitness goal and a financial goal simultaneously.)

Here, then, are the things I aim to achieve in 2013.

Professional Goals

To begin, I have a handful of professional goals. Though I only have a few of these, they’ll dominate most of my time from Monday through Thursday of each week.

First, I’m going to fully develop More Than Money. Since retiring from Get Rich Slowly in October, I’ve enjoyed writing here, finding my voice again, exploring a variety of topics. But I haven’t found any regular rhythm. I’d like to change that in 2013. I want to build a community here as I share the vast variety of information I explore in my daily life. I want to help others to help themselves. To do that, I want to make this site more robust.

Second, I’m going to write a proposal for my next book. Though I’m proud of Your Money: The Missing Manual, I’ll be the first to admit there’s nothing unique about it. It’s a common-sense guide to managing your money. It’s not the “J.D. Book” that I wanted to produce. After two years of mulling it over, I know what the “J.D. Book” is: what it’s about and what it should look like. This year, I want to produce a proposal so that my agent and I can sell this book.

Next, I want to help produce the best-ever World Domination Summit. In July, we’ll bring 3000 people to Portland for a two-day event. As you can imagine, that entails lots of logistical challenges. Plus, we need to provide programming to engage this group. There’s a lot of work to be done over the next six months, but I want to make this conference something worthwhile for everyone who attends.

Finally, I want to continue to practice my public speaking. Last year, I spoke at three conferences. I already have three speaking gigs for this year. I’d be happy to do one or two more. But more than that, I want to improve my delivery. A lot of times, I feel unprepared for my talks, and I lack confidence. This year, I want to make sure that each talk is well-prepared and, most importantly, full of useful info for the folks in the audience.

Personal Goals

While I’m eager to tackle my professional goals, I’m actually keener to work on my personal life. My work has dominated my life for the past few years, and it was only in 2012 that I began to seek balance between the professional and the personal. I want to continue that work in 2013.

First up, I’m going to buy a house. It’s taken me a few months to prepare for the house-hunting process, but things are finally ready. I know how I’m going to pay for the place, and I know (roughly) where and how I want to live. Last week, I began looking at places in the Portland area. I’ve already seen a couple of promising properties. I’m hoping to have found a place by the end of January so that perhaps I can have moved by late March, before I travel to Europe.

Also, I’m going to do more volunteer work. Last year, I dabbled with volunteering. I did a couple of workshops about personal finance, for instance, and for nine months I was an English tutor for a woman from Spain. (Sort of. In reality, we became friends who liked to hang out twice a week.) In 2013, I want to find other ways to give my time and energy.

Next, I’m going to foster my friendships. I did a good job of connecting with friends during the first half of 2012, but as I got busier in the latter half of the year, I did a poor job staying in touch. I want to correct that.

And, of course, I’m going to re-dedicate myself to fitness. For the past few years, fitness has been one of my top priorities. I’ve learned how to eat right and how to make exercise a habit. As a result, I reached my peak level of fitness last July. But through a combination of injuries, travel, and a lack of focus, I’ve let my body go soft. I’ve gained about ten pounds, and I can feel my physical fitness beginning to fade. It’s not too late to put on the brakes, though, and that’s just what I plan to do. In 2013, I’m going to train for the Portland Marathon, reduce my alcohol intake, and pay more attention to healthy eating (including more fruits and veggies).

Through all of this, I’m going to relax. At the end of 2012, I started seeing a therapist. I didn’t have a purpose at first, but after a few conversations it’s clear that there are a couple of things I can work on. Number one? Tranquility. I need to learn to be calm, to go with the flow, to be present in the moment. “I want you to learn how to self-soothe,” my therapist told me at our last session. Sounds like good advice!

Finally — and most importantly — I’m going to continue building my relationship with Kim. I’m happy to have found a partner who supports me emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally; and I’m happy to be able to do the same for her. I’m excited to see how our relationship grows now that we’re leaving the early “get to know you” phase.

The Bottom Line

Obviously, these aren’t SMART goals. The aims I’ve shared aren’t all specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and timed. However, for most of these goals, I do have private, concrete objectives.

Really, though, I’m aiming for a change in process, in the way I think and act. To me, the details are less important than making lasting behavioral changes. I want to build good habits that last a lifetime.

What about you? What are your goals for 2013? What do you hope to accomplish in the coming months? How do you decide which goals are most important? And how do you decide how to spend your time when pursuing more than one goal at once?