Ecuador 2013: A Chautauqua on Wealth and Happiness

You know how sometimes peak life experiences kind of creep on you when you’re least expecting them? Well, that just happened to me.

For the past week, I’ve been part of the first chautauqua produced by Cheryl Reed of Above the Clouds Retreats. I joined fellow financial bloggers Mr. Money Mustache (a.k.a. Pete) and jlcollinsnh (a.k.a. Jim) to present our philosophies to an enthusiastic group of 22 participants, most of whom were women and most of whom had reached (or were well on their way to) Financial Independence.

Including Cheryl’s husband, Rich, we had 27 in our group. You know how there’s usually one or two bad eggs in any group that size? Well, that didn’t happen to us. In fact, this is probably the best small group I’ve ever had the privilege to be a part of. The participants were universally intelligent and friendly and supportive and fun. “I haven’t laughed so much in years,” one woman said at the end of the week. I haven’t either.

Note: I’ve uploaded the PowerPoint slides for my presentation. I’ll post a written version soon (maybe on Pete’s blog, if he’ll take it). Plus, I plan to share a summary of the various financial advice from the chautauqua at Get Rich Slowly within the next couple of weeks. If you want more info right now, check out Mr. Money Mustache’s summary of the week.

Between me, Rich, and Mr. Money Mustache, we took thousands of photos during the ten days it took to produce and stage this retreat. I’ve culled these to 165 favorites. But since that’s far too many to ask you to view, I’m going to thin that even further. Here are 20 of the photos that I feel best capture our shared experience. (Click a photo to view a larger version.)

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Morning at Cheryl’s farm: Cheryl, Pete, J.D., and Jim plan for the week [photo by Rich]

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The “profits” from the week will help families like this in Santa Elena [photo by Rich]

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Sunset in Santa Elena — Cheryl takes the dogs for a walk [photo by J.D.]

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Pete and Amy O. look on raptly as J.D. shares some brilliant insight [photo by Rich]

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Pete shares his Mustachian vision for happiness and lifestyle design [photo by J.D.]

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Jim and Val prioritize their passions during Cheryl’s presentation [photo by Rich]

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Colleen endures smoke and fire (and plenty of spit) during a shamanic cleansing [photo by J.D.]

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During a day trip to Otavalo, street performers serenade the group [photo by Rich]

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At a local orphanage, kids scramble for candy from a piñata [photo by Pete]

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The group watches a folkloric dance group at Hacienda Cusin [photo by J.D.]

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Another night of Story Time with Uncle Jesse — “That reminds me of the time…” [photo by J.D.]

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Anita and Caitlin enjoy the company of the adorable (and annoying) cat [photo by J.D.]

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Pete hosts the first of many enjoyable evenings at the hacienda [photo by ??]

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Amy O. and J.D. bust a gut as Colleen slams a Mustachian Rosé [photo by Pete]

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The entire group flashes the Mustachian Salute [photo by J.D.]

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“La mitad del mundo!” — J.D. at the equator [photo by Amy F.]

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Marla, Colleen, and Jason in Quito’s Plaza San Francisco at dusk [photo by J.D.]

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J.D., Colleen, Amy O., Marla, and Val toast the end of a wonderful week [photo by Pete]

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Shyam and Jesse watch as Carol is serenaded for her birthday [photo by J.D.]

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Marla and Val posing with the handsome and dapper doorman [photo by J.D.]

One thousand thanks to Amy, Amy, Amy, and Tom; Menon and Shyam; Nathan and Caitlin; Cathy and John; Jason, Jesse, and Jen; Carol, Karl, and Colleen; Dave and Ann; Lise, Val, Anita, and the every-charming Marla. All y’all made this week amazing. I spent more time with some folks than others — Colleen and Amy O., for instance — but I enjoyed the conversations I had with everyone.

And, of course, thanks to my colleagues. Jim, Rich, Cheryl, and Pete — it was an honor to have been a part of this. Thank you for asking me to share the experience. Let’s do it again next year!

Now, however, I have a brief lull before starting the next leg of my expedition to Ecuador. I’ll spend two more nights at Hotel Ambassador in Quito’s “gringo-landia” — I’m listening to sappy Spanish love songs in the lobby right now — but on Monday, I’ll join a small group headed to the Galapagos Islands. It’s going to be great!

Then, exactly a week from right now, I’ll hop a shuttle the airport to head home. That too will be great. As much as I loved this chautauqua, I love Kim more. I’m eager to return to our home so that we can resume a routine together, and so that we can grow and learn together…

Photos of giant tortoises coming soon! (Plus, underwater snorkeling photos taken with my new waterproof camera.) Stay tuned, my friends.

The Gift Economy and Social Capital

On Friday, Kim and I had dinner with Jason and Kyra Bussanich. Jason is a chiropractor in Lake Oswego and his wife Kyra owns a popular gluten-free bakery. (Kyra also won an episode of Food Network’s “Cupcake Wars”.)

Over dinner, we touched briefly on the notion of a gift economy. Wikipedia has a great definition of this concept:

A gift economy is a mode of exchange where valuables are given without an explicit agreement for immediate or future rewards. In contrast to a barter economy or a market economy, social norms and custom govern gift exchange, rather than an explicit exchange of goods or services for money or some other commodity. Gift exchange is frequently “embedded” in political, kin, or religious institutions.

The next day, Kim and I joined Kyra and her mother to see the Dalai Lama speak at an environmental summit here in Portland. At one point, the moderator posed this question to the panelists: “On some level, the human experience is all about consumption. Life lives by consuming life. But how do we moderate our consumption to reasonable levels?” All of the answers seemed very similar:

  • Oregon governor John Kitzhaber said the challenge is to build an economic system that is not built on the assumption of unlimited growth and unlimited consumption. He pointed out (as I often have) that beyond a certain level, increased income does not increase happiness. Kitzhaber also stressed the importance of social capital, the mutual goodwill we create when we interact with our friends and neighbors.
  • Environmental activist David Suzuki said that because of the effects of the Great Depression, “The engine of our economy runs on consumption, and we don’t focus on the things that truly make us happy. We think of prosperity in a weird way. It’s not our things that make us wealthy — it’s our family and it’s our friends.” [For the record, studies show that health and the quality of personal relationships are the best predictors of personal happiness.]
  • Andrea Durbin, executive director of the Oregon Environmental Council, joined the chorus. “We need to make better choices every day so that our economy isn’t driving by our consumption habits,” she said. “Consuming less will not only help our environment but improve our quality of life.”
  • And, of course, the Dalai Lama took a very buddhist approach to the question of happiness: “Inner wealth is most important,” he said, “and that comes from human relationships. The ultimate source of a happy life and a peaceful life is within ourselves, not money.”
The Dalai Lama
The Dalai Lama actually has a great sense of humor. I like him.

A supplemental economy

As I listened to the panelists respond to this question, I was again reminded of the gift economy. This is a concept I first discovered while reading Kim Stanley Robinson’s science-fiction trilogy about the colonization of Mars. In the second book, Green Mars, the colonists grapple with constructing a new economy, one that’s neither capitalist nor socialist, but something more sustainable. As part of that, a sort of background gift economy emerges where individual outposts share their surplus with others. It’s an important part of a larger economic model.

There are some obvious pragmatic problems to the gift economy. It’s a utopian ideal that operates best in the rarified air of argument and hypothesis, and is less likely to succeed (let alone be implemented) in the real world.

But while such a system might not be practical for an actual global (or national or municipal) economy, a culture of gift-giving can be an excellent supplemental economy, a voluntary means of building mutual goodwill among family, friends, and neighbors. A gift economy builds social capital, bringing communities closer together.

Some examples:

  • If I have things that I do not use (as is often the case), and I pass these things on to people who will use them, I’m increasing their wealth and happiness at no cost to myself. This isn’t necessarily an altruistic action, but it is an action that improves the overall wealth of the community.
  • When I give, whether time or material goods, to another person, I’m not just improving her physical life. I’m also creating, for lack of a better term, positive mental energy. I’m fostering mutual goodwill.
  • When a group of people give together — especially when they give time — the result is often greater than the sum of the parts. Just as a group mentality can feed negative emotions and lead to negative consequences, the same group mentality can have positive results. After the Boston Marathon bombing, media outlets trumpeted the actions of the folks who rushed toward danger in order to help the wounded. My colleagues Nate St. Pierre and J. Money founded a group called Love Drop, a “a micro-giving network of people who unite as a community to help one person or family a month”. Etcetera.

Though I haven’t used it myself, I hear that FreeCycle is a great example of the gift economy. Here’s the group’s mission statement: “Our mission is to build a worldwide gifting movement that reduces waste, saves precious resources & eases the burden on our landfills while enabling our members to benefit from the strength of a larger community.”

Note: Here’s a short essay on how gift culture builds reputation among computer programmers.)

The extraordinary power of compound kindness

We don’t need to sacrifice our own interests to participate in the gift culture or to generate social capital. It’s not a zero-sum game. Often, we can create win-win situations that allow everyone involved to profit.

The older I get, the more I’m convinced of the importance of social capital.

Social capital comes from building a broad network of relationships, a network that you can draw upon to help yourself and help others. This isn’t networking in the smarmy, slimy sense, but in the authentic “I’m your neighbor and your friend” sense. A complex network of people will have thousands (millions!) of connections, creating a powerful web of support. (You can see great examples of this in Ben Franklin’s autobiography and in Keith Ferrazzi’s Never Eat Alone.)

These networks are usually built through everyday kindnesses. These actions compound (just like compound interest) to yield larger returns in the future.

The broader your circle of friends, the bigger your family, the better you know your neighbors, and the more involved you are in your community, the more social capital you have. (And the more social capital you contribute to others — it’s a reciprocal thing!)

“Building community is the adhesiveness that holds us together as a society. Without community, we break down into individual consumers.” — John Kitzhaber

The Secret to a Rich Life

Every week at Get Rich Slowly, I devoted Fridays to reader questions. I’d select one reader email to share, provide my own feedback, and then ask blog readers to contribute their opinions. It was one of the most popular features on the site.

I hadn’t planned to do that here at More Than Money. For one, I didn’t think there’d be many reader questions. Turns out I was wrong. Less than a week after this site’s “hard” launch, I’ve already received three great topics for discussion.

First up, my long-time friend P. dropped a line after reading the transcript of my WDS talk about personal transformation. She wrote:

I enjoyed your post yesterday, especially as I had my own Ulysses experience this summer. I realize you took significant action steps to get to where you are financially, but the whole time I was reading, I kept wondering how much of what you were able to do was based on money. (Please understand this is not criticism of you or your talk; it’s really just a philosophical debate.)

Certainly there are actions people can take to make themselves happier that don’t cost money (such as your examples from today), but even something as simple as saying “yes” often comes with a price. And so many of your examples were luxury items: travel to foreign countries, skydiving, getting tutored in Spanish. Even going on a massive dating spree.

Standing before Torres del Paine
Money has allowed me to see some amazing places

But as I said, this isn’t about you. Beyond the philosophical, it’s about me.

Mostly, I would say I am happy and lead an awesome life. The one hiccup to me is my job. I can say nothing negative about my job: It pays buckets of money, it has great benefits, great hours, prestige, lots of vacation, and nice co-workers. But it’s not something I’m passionate about. I probably once was, but it’s too familiar now, or old hat, or, perhaps, boring. I feel like if I didn’t have to work as much, I could spend more time doing the things that truly add joy to my life. But many of the things that bring joy to my life, I couldn’t do if I didn’t make this money.

And of course with kids, the ability to take big risks decreases a lot.

Again, I’m not really unhappy, nor am I looking for you to solve my job issue (retiring Dec. 31, 2015!), but I wondered: If someone can’t make a living doing what they love, or make a lot of money, how much of what you talk about is unavailable to them?

This is a great question, and one we’ve tackled many times over the years at Get Rich Slowly. (For instance.) Fortunately, there’s actually a solid body of research into the relationship between money and happiness. Rather than re-invent the wheel, I’m going to share my summary of the subject, which was first printed in the July 2011 issue of Entrepreneur magazine.

The Secret to a Rich Life

There’s a strong correlation between wealth and happiness. Rich nations tend to be happier than poor nations, and rich people tend to be happier than poor people. But money’s impact on happiness isn’t as great as you might think. If you have clothes to wear, food to eat and a roof over your head, more money has only a marginal effect on your sense of well-being. Other factors are more important.

In a 2005 issue of the Review of General Psychology, Sonja Lyubomirsky, Kennon Sheldon and David Schkade looked at years of research to determine what contributes to long-term happiness [PDF]. They found that about half of our happiness is biological, determined by a sort of happiness “set point.” About 40 percent of happiness comes from the things we choose to do, like exercising, setting goals and building friendships. Only about 10 percent of our happiness is based on circumstances like age, race, gender — and, perhaps surprisingly, financial status.

Although your financial situation plays just a small role in your overall happiness, it does affect it. According to a paper published in the April 2011 issue of the Journal of Consumer Psychology, some financial habits bring greater satisfaction than others [PDF].

“If money doesn’t make you happy, then you probably aren’t spending it right,” write authors Elizabeth Dunn, Daniel Gilbert and Timothy Wilson.

They offer several principles meant to maximize happiness, including:

  • Buy more experiences and fewer things. Material goods depreciate. The day after you buy something, it’s probably worth less than you paid for it. Experiences, on the other hand, appreciate. Your memories of the things you do — vacations you take, concerts you go to — tend to become fonder with time.
  • Use your money to help others. Personal spending has only a small effect on happiness, but pro-social spending [PDF] — money donated to charity or used to buy gifts for others — consistently produces strong, positive feelings.
  • Buy many small pleasures instead of a handful of large ones. This one’s tough to hear on a personal level, because I tend to forego daily indulgences for big rewards. But, in the words of the authors, people are usually happier with “frequent doses of lovely things rather than infrequent doses of lovelier things.”
  • Pay now but consume later. Buying today but paying tomorrow leads to debt — and to unhappiness. Deferred gratification makes us happier, and not just because we avoid debt. It also builds anticipation (which is itself pleasurable) and usually leads us to make smarter choices.
  • Beware of comparison shopping. If you’ve read The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz, you know that people tend to be happier with fewer options. With fewer choices you’re less likely to make a “mistake” while shopping, and there-fore less likely to suffer buyer’s remorse. Plus, it can be tough to know which features actually matter most. Find a good option, go with it and don’t look back.

What’s the best way to be sure money will make you happy? At the 2010 Berkshire Hathaway annual shareholders meeting — also known as “Woodstock for capitalists” — Warren Buffett’s business partner, Charlie Munger, shared a pearl of wisdom: “The secret to happiness,” Munger said, “is to lower your expectations.”

If you can’t be content with what you have, you’ll never lead a rich life, no matter how much money you earn.

Happiness in Real Life

DSC_1608All of that is theoretical, of course, and P.’s question involves the real world. In the real world, I’ll admit: Much of the change I’ve been able to accomplish, and much of the happiness I currently experience, is because I have the money (and the time) to spend on activities that bring me joy.

What’s more, having savings gives me a safety net. It comforts me. I know that if I take a risk and something goes wrong, I have options.

That said, the things that make me happiest have nothing to do with money. I enjoy writing. And reading. I love working out. And, most of all, I get pleasure from spending time with family and friends — especially time with The Girl.

Related reading: Just yesterday, Paula at Afford Anything published a nice look at how wealth buys time. In many ways, that’s what I’ve been using money to do recently — to buy time. And that’s not a luxury everyone has.

The bottom line? One of my fifteen money mantras is this: It’s more important to be happy than it is to be rich. Money doesn’t matter if you aren’t pursuing a meaningful life filled with family and friends.

Fortunately, P. is already doing that. She’s happy and wealthy. She’s in a good place, and she knows it. In a follow-up email, she wrote:

For now, I’m finding my happiness by getting through my work and living passionately on the weekends (and Thursdays, because I only work four days a week!) and through vacations. My plan is to retire in three years, four tops (my husband is stuck on five — that’s our one money argument). Having a “finish line” also makes it easier to get through.

Since this is my first “ask the readers” column here at More Than Money, I want to turn this around now and ask you what you think. What’s the secret to a rich life? To what degree do you need money to be happy? If you’ve experienced both wealth and poverty, how would you compare the two? What was happiness like in each state? And to get back to P.’s original question: What are some of the best ways to find meaning and joy on a limited income?

Note: Do you have a question for the More Than Money community? Send it in. I don’t have a contact form yet, but my email addresses aren’t hard to guess. (Hint: I have a gmail account.) And the great thing about doing “ask the readers” here? We can cover all sorts of topics, not just personal finance. If you want to ask about blogging or travel or dating or donuts, those are all fair game.